I’m quite easily distracted. I’m also not always the best at keeping promises to myself. In July I launched my podcast Flowers & Folklore, but then I said yes to lots of freelancing, I spent ages finishing my eBook and then a hotel chain invited me to apply to be their wedding supplier and I sunk a lot of time and head space into my proposal. (It didn’t work out, but I’ll talk about that in another letter).
And so three months have passed since my last podcast episode.
This is very typical of me, to start something and then get my attention pulled in a different direction. But you know what? I’m over beating myself up for getting distracted. I’m in my early 30s and I don’t see myself changing. More importantly, why have I just accepted the fact I should feel so much shame when I don’t stick to a deadline? So I’m giving myself grace. Instead I’m going to cultivate a much better habit - being able to get back on the horse.
All my lovely folklore books were dusted down and I filled them with scribbled notes and post its. I decided the flower for the second episode would be the thistle.
This is a slight tangent, so stay with me. But buttonholes in Scotland regularly contain a thistle. When customers ask for them it’s usually because that’s what is expected. Some people do it because they’re genuinely really proud of their Scottish heritage. But nine times out of ten? It’s because they think they should.
I don’t know who made this decision, or why it’s just the accepted norm but it’s always an eryngium, not an actual thistle, used in these buttonholes. See the photo above as an example. I’ve googled and asked around, but I’ve not had a concrete answer to why. Eryngium are prickly to touch, but that’s kind of where the similarities end. ‘Thistle’ is very much a catch all term for many plants (I cover this in my podcast!) but I’m really surprised, considering the fact I live and work in Scotland, that no one has ever pointed out that it’s not a real thistle.
Maybe it’s just me, but they look so very different. Thistles are purple, eryngium is blue or white. I checked with one of my wholesalers, they don’t sell actual thistles, they only sell eryngium. Yet, thistles grow abundantly, in so many places.
I made my first ‘thistle’ buttonhole when I was 15. There was a small white rose, a tiny piece of gypsophalia and a piece of eryngium. I don’t do white weddings in my own business, and in the three years of running Rook Botanics I think I’ve bought one wrap of gyp. I don’t make that type of buttonhole anymore. I’ve written before about my love for buttonholes. But every single time I’ve made a buttonhole that needed a thistle I’ve used eryngium. Without question.
You know that emoji where it’s head is meant to look like it’s exploding? Genuinely that’s how I feel. Any flower growers or other florists who have the answer - please let me know!
The whole point to this thorny tangent is - what else have I been doing, just because that’s the way I’ve always done it? I can’t think of a time when I’ve not been really mean on myself when I’ve missed a self imposed deadline. I’m letting go of that. It doesn’t make me more productive. It doesn’t make me a better business owner. I’m no longer going to try and beat myself into being more consistent.
Am I going to keep using eryngium? Who knows. Can someone hook me up with a thistle supplier? Does anyone care? Probably just me, right?
Would you like to learn more about thistles? (I hope this rant about eryngiums hasn’t put you off too much.) Subscribe to Flowers & Folklore ready for the episode coming on Sunday. You can find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts and lots of other places.
It’s very much got me interested in what is a weed. Is it just a plant in the wrong place? Or a plant that doesn’t have a purpose? It was fascinating reading different books and blogs about thistles and seeing the scorn people place on this spiky plant, and then the next thing I read would be adoration for this beloved Scottish emblem. I can see this topic will be my next distraction - please send me book recommendations if you have any!
With love,
I really enjoyed reading this! Here in Texas, thistles are considered weeds and nuisances, but I always thought they were so beautiful. I would often let them grow wild at my home despite this regional belief. When I traveled to Scotland, I realized how celebrated they are and why, and this changed my perspective completely! So, I have a personal connection to this question of what makes a weed and love to consider the thought. I also just listened to your first podcast episode about Foxglove. I enjoyed it very much and really look forward to your next episode on thistle.
Oooh, that's so interesting. There are definitely parts across the UK where thistles are considered an absolute nuisance too. My friend who is over in Northern Ireland sent me a photo recently of a bougie garden centre selling really expensive thistle plants haha.
I love that you let me grow! I totally agree and think they're really beautiful. I love that coming to Scotland made you see them in a different light. It's so interesting isn't it - who gets to decide what a weed is and isn't?!
Thank you so much for listening to the Foxglove episode! It was really fascinating to research. Hope you enjoy the thistle one too x